Have you ever just sat down and cried because you just can’t hold it in any longer? Tonight is that night for me.
I have been diabetic since I got sick in 2008. My pancreas gave out and I have been on medication to try to make my pancreas produce insulin. My medication for that hasn’t been changed much since I started it. However, recently my blood sugar has become more and more out of control.
I went to a new doctor yesterday, who is going to help me get my blood sugar in control. I am afraid of doctors but the doctor was very pleasant and he listened to me as I told him my history. His plan is to start me on a long acting insulin (which I started last night) along with the medications I currently take for my diabetes. I go back to see him in two months and he plans on putting me on more insulin and stopping the pills. He feels that I will be able to control my blood sugar better on insulin.
I am not afraid of needles. When you have been poked as many times as I have been, your fear of needles fades away pretty quick. However, as I write this, I am dreading the thought of checking my blood sugar and taking my insulin before bed. It’s not like it’s a giant needle, but I am feeling a bit freaked out. At least, I am home alone tonight and if I screw it all up, I will be the only one who will see me mess it up.
As much as I fear doctors, I am counting down the days until I go to my regular pain doctor. I spoke to the new doctor about some of the things that I am going through and he said that I need to bring them up with him. He said that the pain doctor can help me with the depression due to the pain.
I feel like my life is out of control. I keep praying to God to make it all stop but I know that God’s time and Peggy time are two completely different times.
I keep feeling the need to write about what I am going through. I believe that the push to write comes from God, He wants me to share what I am going through so that maybe what you are going through isn’t so scary. We can walk through this together.
Whatever you are going through, if you need a shoulder to cry on, or you just want to scream, I am here for you. I am here if you want someone to pray for you.
It has to get easier right? With God on our side, it will all get better in God’s time.
Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
I pray your Tuesday is blessed.
PS. The giraffes are just to make you smile. My hubby bought them for me because he knows how much I love giraffes. I hope they make you smile as much as they make me smile.