Regrets, Bitterness, Disappointment, Discomfort…
Hello my Wonderful Mawow Friends,
How are y’all doing?
Tonight, I am sitting at my computer and thinking about regrets. Why? Well for what started this train of thought, I was attempting to teach myself to knit. My mom is a wonderful knitter and she showed me a bit, but me at home alone I of course ended up being frustrated. I probably would have powered through but someone (You Know Who) decided he wanted to teach me a lesson. He wanted the yarn more than I did.
Do not let this innocent look fool you. He for the most part leaves my mom’s yarn alone, but with me it was game on. There is a bunch of blue and cream colored yarn about to go in the garbage. I would let him play with it, but I have read horror stores about having to pull it out of the other end. If you get my drift? EWWWWWW
I read about a woman who was attempting to retrieve the yarn as described above, but the cat was chasing it too. Kind of like they chase their tail. You’re welcome for the visual.
I for the most part try to live my life regret free. After being sick for so dang long, I want to live peacefully and regretting your past just leads to internal discomfort and I have enough with my body. I don’t need an internal debate taking up my brainpower.
However, when I was younger… hell, until I was in my thirties, I used to say what I felt. I would let it build up inside of me until I couldn’t hold in anymore. I know that I hurt people and for the most part, I have told people I was sorry for the words that I used in anger against them. I still let things build, but I have found healthier ways to deal with my anger.
When I look back, I am utterly disappointed in myself. There are people who have disassociated themselves from me and I have no way to apologize to them. It makes me sad to know there are people out there who harbor bitterness and hatred toward me and I can’t even say I’m sorry. Maybe one day, they will read this blog and realize I am talking about them and know I am truly sorry for the words that I spewed at them.
I know I can’t go back and change anything, but I have grown from those experiences so maybe I was meant to have them. I no longer feel the need to be hateful. When I am hurt or disappointed, I turn to the people who are closest too me and I talk to God. I know that God, Woobie and my Mom would never steer me in the wrong direction. It’s nice to have a good support group.
Now, if they had support groups for kitties who like yarn.
Peace, Love and Happiness (Apologies)